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i am the dissident poetician...i tear down fences with sardonic sardines and metaphysical cucumbers

Thursday, February 18, 2016


an ode to the hell on earth that was last Christmas, which just passed us by in the blink of an eye:

superficial, technicolour world full of every other girl who needs to feel beautiful in their selfies

unused pen lids ready to cap off the rage of insecure men who are worried about the size of their members

strange attractions in an absurd reality

strong reaction or just a delusional fantasy?

the mass insanity of the holiday season (to be politically correct even though I fucking hate acting all PC)

crass, mindless consumerism is the height of mediocrity

people buying things for others (often spoilt kids) that they don't need

everything in this sick, sad world is superfluous

the crux of my anger: so many hungry bellies for us to feed and mouths to bleed

yet we force ourselves and others to indulge to excess

and we imbibe heavily until we get double vision, instead of planting seeds

the stuffed turkey basted with honey: a twisted sign of success

and while everybody else celebrated and got demon drink elevated

I was trapped here in limbo contemplating the folly of my sorry ways

all the ways in which I had gone astray, fresh blood in the ash tray

plenty of foolish reasons, no really nice presents for me this silly season

except the unexpected kindness of some fellow patients and a few nurses

helped me to put things into perspective and gave me the will to live again

while those fucking security guards were invective, others were kind

this made me realise that not all of humanity was worth spitting bile upon

there are actually some decent ones out there who genuinely care

like Matt when he came into the room to a shower of boy-don't-cry antics

he listened and poured his heart out to help mend mine which was shattered

and for a moment it felt like nothing really mattered all that much

I was blessed to be subjected to his lack of pretentiousness and human touch

and even though I spent last Christmas day crying my poor little eyes out

it will be remembered without a shadow of a doubt for the kind words

spoken by those who could see how obviously broken I was

after the violent events of the previous night, when the guards gave me an almighty fright

the restoration of my faith in humanity was just the beginning

of the first day of the rest of my life and I wanted to live again

many grown men, especially macho ones, would call me a pussy or a pansy, for crying as I did

but do you think I could give a flying fuck what such moronic and scared buffoons thought

the release of tears coincides with the release of pent up frustration and fear

helps to soothe the aching heart and glue the pieces back together

no more cracks of the leather upon my bare back, nor gloomy weather

there is no shame in a grown man shedding a storm of tears

in fact, if it were not for the tears, I may very well have hurt myself again

or even worse, I could have employed uncharacteristic violence against others

using sharp objects like I had threatened to do on Christmas eve

violence only begets more violence and I got the response I deserved to an extent

but they didn't have to break my wrists or slam my head into the ground

and they had no right calling me a "coward", and especially, a "terrorist"

then to deny using such an abomination of a word in the first place, was the pinnacle of their own cowardice

to call someone a name like in the playground is like looking for empty straws in the lost and found department

what? too scared to lose your bully boy job over some demented smart-arse comment

designed only to cause outrage, but mostly upset the target terrorist and make him break down and be sad and angry

well, now that the story has been expressed in a long-winded manner by a disgruntled cry-baby

it's time to wrap things up and to strum the strings of peace and love

if it wasn't for the humanity shown to me, I wouldn't be able to do the same back to others

treat everyone with kindness and respect, even your enemies

and you shall find that inner peace that we all so desperately yearn for

I won't give up on peace and love, not now, not ever, sharing my kindness forever

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