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i am the dissident poetician...i tear down fences with sardonic sardines and metaphysical cucumbers

Saturday, July 29, 2017

GUIDE TO GENTLE REFUSAL

Pop some benzos to take my mind to the nth zone
Of consciousness, living my life vicariously
In an envious mess of straight people especially
My headspace is floating as my ego could take some bloating
The rat race enslaving so I set my sights on escaping
Can’t be like the others following the footsteps of their fathers
Aggro, abusive bastards, believing in the need for their harsh words
This life: so fucking absurd, intriguing in all it’s confusion
We’ll all get our just desserts, start bleeding in gentle refusal
What have we got in reserve? Hearts needing a careful perusal
Where we get what we deserve, minds leaving with peaceful excuses

A road turned is another lesson learned
Throw it in the mix and watch it all burn
A heart moved is another soul set loose
When life drags you down, it’s time to refuse

Reality sure bites when people don’t know wrong from right
It’s given me such a fright that I’ve recoiled and set my sights
On fighting into the night until I finally see the light
Of a new day in the height of madness that overrides
All good sense, things so tense in the blur of a big mess
Tossed over the fence, shit making sense less and less
But that’s the nonsense I’ve pretty much come to expect
Where love is absent, a sad life without much success
When you’ve been stripped of all pride, there’s not much left inside
Except the memories of lies and all the tears you’ve cried

A road turned is another lesson learned
Throw it in the mix and watch it all burn
A heart moved is another soul set loose
When life drags you down, it’s time to refuse

This ain't no telethon event, it’s the story of a negatron
Who’s always looking for ways to vent his bitter, deep-seated frustrations
There’s no way in hell he can repent for all the well-aimed transgressions
Into all the good things heaven sent, brought on by his indignation
At all the cruel things done unto him that bring about social relations
Between bitter rivals under the sun, a twisted kind of invocation
Of hatred inside a matrix of resentment and melancholic elation
Who has waited on spoilt fakers who’s daddies paid for their posh vocations?
I wait with baited breath to see the brats toppled from their high positions
I’ll be so elated when I take full control and make all my own decisions

A road turned is another lesson learned
Throw it in the mix and watch it all burn
A heart moved is another soul set loose
When life drags you down, it’s time to refuse

Friday, July 14, 2017

HANGING ON A PRAYER

I know you didn’t dig it
The anxiety inside of you
But we never got to walk
Hand in hand in the park
You would have liked it
I can safely assume that
Two lovers entwined
In the beauty of nature
Happy all of the time
What’s not to like dear?

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back 

I miss what we had
All the things we did
And never got to do
Together forever
In the grip of love
Heart against heart
What could have been
The wonderful times
The laughs to share
The smile on your face

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back

If you took me back
Things would be different
We’d both be free
No more chemical handcuffs
Clean living for real
Reality faced head on
Health and happiness
The main prerogative
Of any special time
That we’d spend together

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back

Can you imagine at all
A better future for us
Not just like before
Controlled by outside forces
Like I said earlier on
No more needles in the hay
No reliance on substances
Couldn’t stress this more 
There will be real changes
This time around my darling

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back 

Will the gods heed my call
Before I’m washed upon the shore?
Can I keep my head up tall
Before I completely fall?

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

HOPE IS IMPORTANT

So much loss I’d have to endure
In a matter of just months this year:
My home, my soul mate, my friends
My peace of mind, my sanity
Reality twisting and turning
Like a torture contraption
Trapping me in these cycles
Of dejection and resignation
To the cruel fate inflicted upon me
By the hands of time gone wrong
Slipping away as if by grand design
The world is trying it’s darndest
To drag me down into the mud
To grind me into the ground
But I shall put an end the rain
Pouring down from my weary eyes
And remember the endless possibilities
For renewal, healing and growth
That comes from dwelling in hell
Upon this earth so tarnished
By the wicked hand of things
Beyond our mortal control
Spanners in the shifting winds
Of times that test our resolve
Things surely must get better
When everything is out of control
From the depths of suffering
Comes compassion for others
And the strength to survive anything
That this cruel world can throw at us
I’ve been through turmoil
That almost completely destroyed me
In possibly the worst year of my life
But I’m still standing here
With a heart that works
And two hands and two feet
What more could I ask for
Than the opportunity for change?
I shall count my blessings
And they are still many
In spite of the darkness
Threatening to engulf all and sundry
I am lucky to have survived
For this long in this cruel world
That contradicts itself
By throwing great beauty
In the face of the staunchest pessimist
Disarming him for just a moment
For him to find a glimmer of hope
Amidst his negatron constructions
Of impending dark clouds
Yes, I confess to being that person
But I still have a spark or two left
To start my struggling engine again
There is still hope where some saw none
It’s undeniable that hope is important
I must keep reminding myself of this
When you’ve lost almost everything
You can only find yourself again
Free from the bondage of excess
The things you no longer require
To clutter up your fragile mind
I shall find myself again
Yes, hope is important