NOT EVEN A GANGSTER

I wear cheap silver and Buddhist beads, not gold, but you heed society's prescriptions and do everything that you're told

You shall never stop chasing the pot at the end of the rainbow, you're overflowing with bling and gold, just like lice on a hippie

If you think being rich is the pinnacle of achievement, you must suffer from mental derangement, now that's just silly

And you're constantly chasing pussy like it's the be all and end all, so this asexual beast shall watch you follow your willy

You must think that I must be crazy if that sort of jazz means fuck all to me, but at least my drug-fucked mind is free

Now it's time to step up the ante, as I storm into large corporate goods dispensaries and take what I fancy, and I don't give a fuck if they catch me

Because I know every little trick in the shoplifter's guide, didn't even need to read the 'Anarchist Cook Book', I've got no fear inside, can't you see?

Now you, being the consumer whore that you are, willingly hand over your money to those corporate thieves, but I act out exactly what I believe

And I refuse to listen to others' pleas for me to stop racking copious amounts of stuff, when I got arrested yesterday morning for a different matter, they didn't treat me rough

Due to my honesty and politeness, I got let off by the cops with a warning, I simply got so angry at nothing, not really in my character for me to act tough

FLOOD OF LEMONS

Dust off the cobwebs on my filthy hands, at least there's no blood stains soaked into them, as my name's solid clean around town

Picked up some lemons from under the tree, a flood of yellow fruit on the ground, it's about time I unwound and stopped acting the clown

And wiped away that serious-looking-Asian-guy frown, so that I can be the king of the ant mound, the strongest one pound for pound

The lack of rest, hydration and sustenance was spinning my head around, I nearly fainted and fell to the ground

There's no winning in this dog-eat-dog game played by fools, tools and desperadoes, only rain and tears to be collected, as we soldier on, overcome by fear

But if you get bashed and rolled for your gear, it will only hurt temporarily physically anyway, until the bruises heal, beware, danger is always near

However, it feels like I'm only able to create prolifically and spontaneously when you're near and I'm not talking about beer, things just got worse as the year disappeared away

You know it feels kind of surreal how I became this way, was able to resist your lure for seven long smacked out years, then I had one taste last January and everything changed for the worst

Now I can't seem to quench this thirst for you, I need you inside my vein everyday, does this make me just another junkie: weak and insane?

This is my one and only life I'm playing with and it's really in a great deal of strife, can't remember when I last had a proper meal, let's hope the wheels get freed from the chains

LIVE, LAUGH, HOPE, DREAM and LOVE

live, laugh, hope, dream and love

which masters do you serve?

what made your Benz swerve?

your name is dirt in these parts

the repetition of rhyming words

as I throw incendiary darts

are people no better than turds?

it's not time to play make believe

your apathy makes me seethe

could you open up those eyes please?

and your heart and mind too?

there's nothing in the world stopping you

from making another excuse

would you rather curl up and lose
an arm, leg and maybe torso too?

the system stinks like the poo

left behind by mounted police

pigs do as they damn well please

believe themselves to be above the law

but it's all just a stupid war

against the starving and the poor

so open up your front door

and let the light of kindness in

for change: it starts from within

throw all your regrets in the bin

yes, go and be fake and you'll win

greed in one of our darkest 'sins'

more and more cash in the tin

no more repetition or competition

go spread some love and compassion

let's make it a new fashion

don't get yourself thrown in a paddy wagon

or they might just throw away the key

but they will never catch me

for I am quick and I am free

and I fucking love hugging trees

so please just let me be

and you may just about see

the changes in the coming week

my substance of abuse at off peak

not high walking down the street

only kind people do I want to meet

with love and kindness, I shall treat them

for they deserve it in the end

not just a fucking pretend friend

but one who sticks it out until the end

watch out world: my life is on the mend

HOPE

holding out hope, waiting for salvation and a solution to all the visual pollution that invades and burns my eyes

abstinence could be my saving grace, help me to save some face and to put an end to the waste, so sick of all their lies, so much rage inside

relevance is not even a consideration, just like releasing kids from detention in this fucked up country, they must cry a lot

don't like to make promises that I can't keep, why do others view me as so piss weak? am I just like another tear drop?

when I engage in things in the hours that are outside of my dreams, I do them to excess, but I don't like my reputation being clumped together like the rest

now, I've got something to confess: I haven't being trying very hard to pass the test, this is so not my idea of success

if God exists, then may he bless the people who are looking out for me, their general decency was indeed rare and surprising

at least they try not to fuck me over or cut my grass with a scammer's lawnmower, been up all night and the sun will soon be rising

their company: I am certainly enjoying and I'm not toying around, but I'm so sick and tired and bored of boring, conventional people, with nothing profound to say

my friends keep me grounded like a calm waiter at a posh restaurant being abused by class-traitors or, straight out, the enemy, oh what rude sounds they play from their tongues

It's time to wake up, get on the horse again, giddy up, it's the lesser of two evils

we're are hooked and corrupt, there's no other way to be than to dance with the devil

unless we want to and also choose to be free from bad company

open up your eyes and you shall see that we could all one day be free

NON-CUNTS EXIST TOO

an ode to the hell on earth that was last Christmas, which just passed us by in the blink of an eye:

superficial, technicolour world full of every other girl who needs to feel beautiful in their selfies

unused pen lids ready to cap off the rage of insecure men who are worried about the size of their members

strange attractions in an absurd reality

strong reaction or just a delusional fantasy?

the mass insanity of the holiday season (to be politically correct even though I fucking hate acting all PC)

crass, mindless consumerism is the height of mediocrity

people buying things for others (often spoilt kids) that they don't need

everything in this sick, sad world is superfluous

the crux of my anger: so many hungry bellies for us to feed and mouths to bleed

yet we force ourselves and others to indulge to excess

and we imbibe heavily until we get double vision, instead of planting seeds

the stuffed turkey basted with honey: a twisted sign of success

and while everybody else celebrated and got demon drink elevated

I was trapped here in limbo contemplating the folly of my sorry ways

all the ways in which I had gone astray, fresh blood in the ash tray

plenty of foolish reasons, no really nice presents for me this silly season

except the unexpected kindness of some fellow patients and a few nurses

helped me to put things into perspective and gave me the will to live again

while those fucking security guards were invective, others were kind

this made me realise that not all of humanity was worth spitting bile upon

there are actually some decent ones out there who genuinely care

like Matt when he came into the room to a shower of boy-don't-cry antics

he listened and poured his heart out to help mend mine which was shattered

and for a moment it felt like nothing really mattered all that much

I was blessed to be subjected to his lack of pretentiousness and human touch

and even though I spent last Christmas day crying my poor little eyes out

it will be remembered without a shadow of a doubt for the kind words

spoken by those who could see how obviously broken I was

after the violent events of the previous night, when the guards gave me an almighty fright

the restoration of my faith in humanity was just the beginning

of the first day of the rest of my life and I wanted to live again

many grown men, especially macho ones, would call me a pussy or a pansy, for crying as I did

but do you think I could give a flying fuck what such moronic and scared buffoons thought

the release of tears coincides with the release of pent up frustration and fear

helps to soothe the aching heart and glue the pieces back together

no more cracks of the leather upon my bare back, nor gloomy weather

there is no shame in a grown man shedding a storm of tears

in fact, if it were not for the tears, I may very well have hurt myself again

or even worse, I could have employed uncharacteristic violence against others

using sharp objects like I had threatened to do on Christmas eve

violence only begets more violence and I got the response I deserved to an extent

but they didn't have to break my wrists or slam my head into the ground

and they had no right calling me a "coward", and especially, a "terrorist"

then to deny using such an abomination of a word in the first place, was the pinnacle of their own cowardice

to call someone a name like in the playground is like looking for empty straws in the lost and found department

what? too scared to lose your bully boy job over some demented smart-arse comment

designed only to cause outrage, but mostly upset the target terrorist and make him break down and be sad and angry

well, now that the story has been expressed in a long-winded manner by a disgruntled cry-baby

it's time to wrap things up and to strum the strings of peace and love

if it wasn't for the humanity shown to me, I wouldn't be able to do the same back to others

treat everyone with kindness and respect, even your enemies

and you shall find that inner peace that we all so desperately yearn for

I won't give up on peace and love, not now, not ever, sharing my kindness forever

BILL GATE'S BUKAKE

Quiet time for this lion heart, no time or crime for crack today, just going to concentrate on word play, my broken soul's indomitable and honest-to-a-fault art

I don't like to talk about committing acts of violence but sometimes one has to break the silence, and stabbing someone is the best way to get the point across

If people think I'm demented and my ways are wicked, then they are free to burn bridges just like Mel did, it's their fucking loss, her hypocrisy made me so cross

My words are not for showing people how clever I am, forever I shall write, for it's good for soothing my aching heart and is a form of catharsis

Your turds, I shall collect one day perhaps, stir it up mixed with foul eggs in a bucket between my lap, then I will return to sender, oh such an indignant Marxist

For you shit out all the excess cadavers that you consume, rotting flesh makes me want to puke, some poor animal died so you could indulge your gluttony

And I spit bile in the face of your self-indulgence and greed, your affluence far exceeds that which is not obscene, I hope you choke on Bill Gate's bukake, that'll make you see

For all your sacrifice, consumerism and conformity, tell me what have your achieved? You were led to believe that greed is ok like the days Wall Street's money fucking gangsters could make the decision to kill a million babies

Well, let me tell you something: money is the enemy, and to repeat another dead cliche - it is the root of all evils, the lure of the devil, I hope all you consumer whores contract AIDS or rabies

And die!

FOR MARY ANNA

Your loving kindness is a huge breath of fresh air
You held my shaking hand when I was in the depths of despair
And soothed my aching heart when nobody else even cared
For such treatment I was not the least bit prepared
A person with as much compassion as you is extremely rare
I don't care anymore if stupid people stop and stare
For through my teary eyes they will see an incendiary glare
Just because they didn't give a fuck even though they were aware
That I was afflicted by an immense state of pain and distress
And my crumbling life was a complete and utter mess
It was just a reflection of their lack of compassion, I guess
But at least you did indeed have a heart for me, you phoned me straight away
It was your ear to land and lack of pretense that saved the day
You listened to my problems, told me not to kill myself and washed away the tears
What you did for me on that dark day will be remembered for the rest of my years

I love you Maryanna Belle

BOOK OF SCAMMING

Leave it to Mr Loving Kindness and Compassion to be led into blindness
By those who are unscrupulous and heartless, exploitation to excess
If they think scamming others is the pinnacle of success, then they must have rocks in their veins
Watch out for those who are hanging and desperate, they will always get their way and ruin another's day
If I be so bold to have my say, then if you are part of the game, you can only expect to be treated this way
They'll do whatever they may, in order to turn other's generosity into sunshine, shards and hay
The best way to deal with these scammer fuckers is to say nay and send then on their fucking way
Oh, the lessons I have learnt I could write a book about without a doubt, so please listen to what I've had to say

Mac Miller -- 'Objects in the Mirror'

People love you when they on your mind

A thought is love's currency

And I been thinking about her all the time

I never seen somebody put together perfectly

What would I have to do to call you mine?

Someone like you is so hard to find

You can open up your eyes or you can walk in blind

All I ask is that you hurry, I won't hurt you don't you worry

Listen to me, I'ma set you free

He ain't gonna break your heart again

Go through the worst to reach the ecstasy

When your imagination's on pretend

I never thought that it would feel this way

You never taught me how to heal the pain

I wish you caught me on a different day

When it was easier to be happy

So just a little taste and you know she got you

Can you hide away, can you hide away?

The sound of silence as they all just watch you

I kinda find it strange

How the times have changed

But I wish, we could go and be free, once

Baby, you and me

We could change the world forever

And never come back again

Let's leave it all in the rear-view

Let's leave it all in the rear-view, girl

You don't have to cry

You don't have to cry

You don't have to cry no more

You don't have to cry no more

You don't have to cry no more, little girl

You don't have to cry

Mend a broken heart girl if you can

I don't expect you to be capable

You got the world right in your hands

And that responsibility is inescapable

I promise that I'll be a different man

Please give me the chance to go and live again

I'm having some trouble, can you give a hand?

It seems perfection really is so unobtainable

Don't even say you about to end it all

Your life precious ain't a need to go and kill yourself

I'm not so sure that there's an end at all

I wish the truth would just reveal itself

Who do you call to make it to the top?

And who do you call to make the shootin' stop?

And who do you call to give the coupe a wash?

After everything I did I think I'm still myself

So just a little taste and you know she got you

Can you hide away, can you hide away?

The sound of silence as they all just watch you

I kinda find it strange

How the times have changed

But I wish, we could go and be free, once

Baby, you and me

We could change the world forever

And never come back again

Let's leave it all in the rear-view

Let's leave it all in the rear-view, girl

Oh-oh-oh

Let's leave it all in the rear-view

Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh

Let's leave it all in the rear-view, girl

You don't have to cry

You don't have to cry

Whoa-oh-oh (yeah)

Let's leave it all in the rear-view

Whoa-oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh-oh-oh

EYES FULLY OPEN

What the hell am I doing here, overcome with grief and tears?
All my foes could be near, but I still have self-belief and very little fear
I don't want to step on anybody's toes, there's still hope I suppose

All the new truths that I know, trying to avoid another crushing low
Let the beauty of peace and love grow inside, no more greed on the nose
Spray away the poison with a hose to avoid all the low blows
It's the season of renewal and change as the mystery grows
Nobody knows how I feel, or maybe they know all too well
About the pain I've recently been inflicted, it's all too common
I've drifted so far from heaven, ever closer to the fiery pits of hell
Some people who are scammers think they're so clever, but they never ever come through
When someone is trying to fuck me over, it's now so fucking easy to tell
They ring their own bell like a cat in a hunting mood, it's a warning of danger
In fact, some supposed friends can be even be more deceitful than even the dodgiest of strangers
Pretend friends will eventually slip up and reveal themselves to be users in the end
So false that they can't even be considered to be even a casual acquaintance, let alone friend
All the bad signals that they send, keeps me me from trusting them one iota at all
So sick of people taking advantage of me because I am frail and small
All these shit cunts, that I no longer want to know, can go fuck themselves and do it hard
I've had enough of them and their lies, I don't need them one bit at all
All I need are my true friends, who will stick with me until the bitter end
They've been there for me recently, helped me to see that there are other ways
Than to go out and take bloody and devastating revenge on those who have done me wrong
Instead I can express my bitterness, anger and frustrations in these poems and songs
It's the catharsis that my weary head has required all along, it keeps me focused and strong

MARK THESE LETTERS

I won't give up on you if you don't give up on the fool that is me

For it is your love and kindness that teaches me rules and sets me free

All I ask for is that you don't judge me too harshly and just let me be

I know I've made plenty of mistakes but at least people will say I'm honest

And can admit to my imperfections, unlike the guarded words of the rest

I won't have the full meal eat the cake too because I'm not all that obsessed

With acquiring material wealth like many of the rest, they are all greedy, much to my behest

I hope people don't find me to be too needy because that's truly what I am

My holy temple has been damaged by all the substances I've injected using needles

I've been to fucked up places so dirty and seedy that I was so afraid that I ran

People can be so evil when they fuck others over, even though it doesn't need to be this way

We've all got plenty in this bourgeois paradise, far more than we'll ever need

So why are we so greedy and covet more and more in order to believe that we have succeeded

But in reflection, we will find that all our expectations of being comfortable have far been exceeded

And all the affluence and decadence that we take for granted makes damn sure the suffering of others is repeated

However, I refuse to be this way, I will be humble and only consume what I need each and every day

I shall never be defeated, and my life will change for the better in each and every way, mark these letters