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i am the dissident poetician...i tear down fences with sardonic sardines and metaphysical cucumbers

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

I've been hiding between a rock and a hard place.
Because I didn't have the courage to face up to all the mistakes.
That I have made over and over again, trying to make myself disappear.
For people to notice me, an unhealthy standard of beauty.
I became lighter than air, started drowning is a sea of despair and consumed by fear.
All I really wanted was for the war in my head to end.
But there's only so long one can pretend that my youth hasn't passed me by in the blink of an eye.
And I still struggle to understand the reasons why I did the questionable things that I did.
The rage inside the my bottle of emotions was so intense it flipped its own lid.
Good cops, bad cops, there are narcs always following the 'evil thing'.
Sting plays on the radio every step I take and every move I make.
There's no point in doing just about anything anymore.
Because I know they'll be watching me and harshly judging me.
Is there no escape from this insanity, vigilantes following me?
Yes, all my dreams have come true on the: anarchy in the streets.
Each day it repeats, so I'm just about ready to concede defeat.
Can't tell friend from foe, no anonymity anywhere I go. 

When will there be an end of this freak show story, the media's been writing and rewriting for an eternity?
Bombs have exploded and my gun is loaded, was about to set myself free.
But I can't bare to hurt the remaining few people in my life who still care about me.
Or at least have some level of compassion remaining for this freak.
Who's lacked the acumen to face up to reality.
That's why I've continued to harm myself with sharp objects.
It helped me to pretend that life is an eternal dream devoid on consequences.
But all things must come to an end at some stage.
I should know all too well by this age, blood on the page.
Now the dreams and juvenile fantasies have turned the nightmare that is reality.
I fucked up and I fucked up bad, no wonder the stalkers are mad.
But in my heart of hearts I didn't intend any harm to another living creature.
Yet the actions end up obfuscated in every front page media feature.
Propaganda designed to line the pockets of the church and corporations.
A global sensation, another US invasion, misinformation.
Painting the enemy to be less than human, incapable of any compassion.
Zionist tentacles spreading far and wide.
Let's all watch the spectacle all comfortable inside, digesting all the lies.
The insurgents refuse to lay down their arms until the coalition does the same.
There are people's lives and reputations at stake, it's not just a game.
The war would have been over long ago if the insurgents hadn't allied with their enemies.
And the invasion wasn't all about making mountains of money.
At the expense of those afflicted by societal oppression, suffering and misery.
They will continue to line their dirty pockets until the end of eternity.
Innocent prisoners at Guantanamo Bay will never be free.
Until the human race does away with insecurity and greed.

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