FILA

Having idle hands can lead to self-destruction
or at least, hasten it for those already on that trajectory
I've been on such a path for many long years
Since before I was legally considered an adult, in fact
However, it was not until I dropped out of my studies
that things took a turn for the worst then another and another
Instead of being an aspiring sociology professor
with an occasional penchant for sticking sharp objects in my arm,
it became a daily event, besides simultaneous days in which I crashed out
and culminated in the worst period of my entire life
In that time, I ended up homeless and destitute,
got abandoned by my family and my dearest friends
and got sectioned in a psychiatric ward for threatening lethal violence
(and I'm am a pacifist in principle!)
Oh, but I was having the time of my life, wasn't I?
Who wouldn't be happy be constant adventure and action?
I for one: if I could trade it all in for but one day
of peace, tranquility and stability, then I would
What's more, I wouldn't wish this kind of lifestyle upon anyone
Not even my worst enemies, even in my darkest moments

Since I started chasing the glitzy lights all the way up town,
after having resisted it's allure for seven drowsy years
I've been surrounded by the most debased of people,
the type who would tell you anything to get what they want
and would steal off their own grandmother if required
Though my limits and my faith in humanity have been tested,
I've never stooped as low as what others had done to me
and for that, I hold my head up high, in the fucking face
of all those who think I'm beyond hope and look down upon me
If they were faced with the situations that I have been,
then perhaps they may have ended up doing the unthinkable
I've been fucked over by others on so many occasions,
including by those whom I used to consider to be closest friends
If one can't even trust your friends, then who can one trust?
It was as if the world was full of unscrupulous liars and scam-artists,
none of which could be trusted, who deserved to be flogged
for the despicable things that they had done and continue to do,
even by the standards of the most non-violent of people
However, I'm not a vindictive person, nor am I the vengeful type
So no blood has been shed by my hands in a fit of rage
despite me having had such horrible fantasies repeatedly
Lucky for my enemies, I guess, that justice has not been served,
vigilante style, without limits or rules of engagement
It's not so much what had been taken from me that cuts
but rather, the way it was done and who did it, that does
It completely destroyed my faith in all of humanity
and left me with trust issues that will forever plague me
The upside of all this is that I have become less gullible
and learnt never to take anyone at face value
and that if something sounds too good to be true,
then it damn well is, one hundred percent guaranteed,
Just a few lessons among  many among many more
that I've been forced to learn the hard way
in this game of roulette that is life in the fast lane

A certain street level purveyor of imported wares
once made a predictable comment about the FILA shoes I had on
(that I had recently acquired at discount rates)
when I asked him whether he liked them,
after I noticed that he was wearing the exact same pair
He said that it stands for "Fuck I Love Annie"
If only, if only
Though my recent behaviour might indicate otherwise,
I sincerely do not like them her all that much at all
Not nearly as much as I liked sweet Harriet anyway