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i am the dissident poetician...i tear down fences with sardonic sardines and metaphysical cucumbers

Friday, July 21, 2017

BOYS DON'T CRY

Two year VRO put on me to let me go as cracks show in the flow
Of innuendo, lies and rumours that grow until they blow
Me out of the water, surrounded by jealous haters who wait here
For me to fall harder as things got rougher with no saviour
To pull me back from the brink of attack procedures and blue fever
Off the beaten track, a decisive lack of support, no half measures
As users use me and chew me up for their own twisted pleasures
Only way to be free and no longer sorry is to find truth in failure
Parasites do me no favours, always there to drain the soul of the teacher
No angels are here to save ya when ya surrounded by people crazier

The weak are here to make wolves seem stronger
The meek show fear to make blokes stay longer
They seek no tears, for boys don’t cry in front
Of other boys, they just tell the lies they want

Repeated dose of silence in between the violence that never was
Jumping fences in desperation in fear of impending loss
It came anyway at the end of the day, I simply had to go away
For my words had strayed from molly coddling, kid glove comments to say
Jealousy raged like hellfire, torn pages out of life’s sweet decay
How I had strayed from my nice guy ways, then got told to go away
At the strike of dawn, I was down on the lawn, almost all gone
Like a fragile fawn, down paths well worn, singing a sad song
I felt so forlorn, my insides completely torn, wish I was never born
Darkness engulfs all, as I had my great fall, what had I done wrong?

The weak are here to make wolves seem stronger
The meek show fear to make blokes stay longer
They seek no tears, for boys don’t cry in front
Of other boys, they just tell the lies they want

SOAP DANGLING TO A ROPE

I’ve been here before
Down the same path
Pining away for past glories
It’s not like before
Good things don’t last
So I tell the same sad stories
She closed the front door
Just when it opened
Destroying every spark of hope
Yearned for something more 
Than silent reasons
No joy left here, I couldn’t cope 
Went back to the source
Twas open season
Her no longer dangling a rope
I felt deep remorse
So self-defeating
Should have washed my mouth out with soap

SIMPLY CANNOT WAIT

Never thought I’d lose her
Not for a second, no way
We were meant to always be
Yes, together forever
But she left me hanging on
Shrouded in a veil of silence
Never thought it would happen
But she went and broke my heart
Shattered into a thousand pieces
All I did was call that other bitch
On being a downright dog cunt
And she was not given the choice
To speak to me herself when ready
People got in her ear about me
And the huge danger I posed 
To her welfare and her safety
Lies, rumours and innuendo
Designed to paint me up
As a monster who would hurt her
If not protected from my flaws
Two year violence restraining order
Put on my sorry arse for nothing
But jumping the fence at hers
A storm in a teacup if you ask me
But one which has denied me
All access to her love and kindness
Couldn’t believe it was the end
For me and my precious sunshine
Only darkness engulfed my soul
Without my darling by my side
I was a shattered shell of a man
Left wondering what I’d actually done
For her to go to such extremes
To get me out of her fragile life
Once and for all, the perfect stranger
Who had once been faithful partner
In a string of crimes in a long list
That we’d never get to commit together
Oh how that Dr Solar was on our list
We’ve still yet to fuck up her car
But that will never ever be
As long as she keeps avoiding me
And perpetuating the horrible silence
Imposed upon me out of fear
Of the potential chain of retribution
That an unstable man would deal out
All unfounded of course
I’m mad but not that psychotic
I am capable of exercising restraint
Although I didn’t show much
The day the extended silence began
The beginning of challenging times
And unprecedented frequency of rain
Such was the depth of my despair
That I forgot how to eat, drink and breathe
Time has dried up the river that once flowed
But I still love her with all my heart
A flame that burns for ever more
Until the end of time spent waiting
For her to come to her senses
And be free from the thumb of family members
Who would never accept me as one of them
Until that day comes, I’ll still be waiting
Holding on to hope that we’d reunite
Oh how glorious that day shall be
I simply cannot wait

Friday, July 14, 2017

HANGING ON A PRAYER

I know you didn’t dig it
The anxiety inside of you
But we never got to walk
Hand in hand in the park
You would have liked it
I can safely assume that
Two lovers entwined
In the beauty of nature
Happy all of the time
What’s not to like dear?

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back 

I miss what we had
All the things we did
And never got to do
Together forever
In the grip of love
Heart against heart
What could have been
The wonderful times
The laughs to share
The smile on your face

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back

If you took me back
Things would be different
We’d both be free
No more chemical handcuffs
Clean living for real
Reality faced head on
Health and happiness
The main prerogative
Of any special time
That we’d spend together

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back

Can you imagine at all
A better future for us
Not just like before
Controlled by outside forces
Like I said earlier on
No more needles in the hay
No reliance on substances
Couldn’t stress this more 
There will be real changes
This time around my darling

Hanging on a prayer
To the gods I don’t believe
The things you never said
I try so hard to conceive
So I keep hanging on
Hoping you’d take me back 

Will the gods heed my call
Before I’m washed upon the shore?
Can I keep my head up tall
Before I completely fall?

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

HOPE IS IMPORTANT

So much loss I’d have to endure
In a matter of just months this year:
My home, my soul mate, my friends
My peace of mind, my sanity
Reality twisting and turning
Like a torture contraption
Trapping me in these cycles
Of dejection and resignation
To the cruel fate inflicted upon me
By the hands of time gone wrong
Slipping away as if by grand design
The world is trying it’s darndest
To drag me down into the mud
To grind me into the ground
But I shall put an end the rain
Pouring down from my weary eyes
And remember the endless possibilities
For renewal, healing and growth
That comes from dwelling in hell
Upon this earth so tarnished
By the wicked hand of things
Beyond our mortal control
Spanners in the shifting winds
Of times that test our resolve
Things surely must get better
When everything is out of control
From the depths of suffering
Comes compassion for others
And the strength to survive anything
That this cruel world can throw at us
I’ve been through turmoil
That almost completely destroyed me
In possibly the worst year of my life
But I’m still standing here
With a heart that works
And two hands and two feet
What more could I ask for
Than the opportunity for change?
I shall count my blessings
And they are still many
In spite of the darkness
Threatening to engulf all and sundry
I am lucky to have survived
For this long in this cruel world
That contradicts itself
By throwing great beauty
In the face of the staunchest pessimist
Disarming him for just a moment
For him to find a glimmer of hope
Amidst his negatron constructions
Of impending dark clouds
Yes, I confess to being that person
But I still have a spark or two left
To start my struggling engine again
There is still hope where some saw none
It’s undeniable that hope is important
I must keep reminding myself of this
When you’ve lost almost everything
You can only find yourself again
Free from the bondage of excess
The things you no longer require
To clutter up your fragile mind
I shall find myself again
Yes, hope is important

Sunday, June 25, 2017

REBEL JUSTIFIABLY REBORN WITH JUSTIFIABLE CAUSE

How the wheels have turned since I fell from grace
All the things I yearn give a bitter taste
Watch the fire burn, my love gone to waste
All the points I’d earned now bring me much pain
What’s the big concern with the about face
Not hard to discern reasons for the rain
Heard them say those words, oh what shit they say
Starting now to learn not to rush each race
Things could not get worse, gone without a trace
Insatiable thirst, wish they’d go away

Time waits for no man, must do what I can
Try to understand Godhead’s master plan
God is mine alone, the love I’ve been shown
Wisdom I have known in life’s whirlpool blown
And God, he is me, why can’t people see,
That we are all free to do as we please

Revolt at the gates of heaven’s decline
Resigned to my fate, a blessing in time
Such a bitter taste pitted against wine
Choices made in haste as teeth start to grind
Mind state not too great, it’s time to rewind
Filled with fear and hate, fall further behind
Don’t like much to wait behind the white line
Reverse the brain drain, really troubling signs
Demons must be slain for things to be fine
Time to sieze the day, the onus is mine

Chance waits for no man, must rise where I stand
Try to lend a hand, this god’s failing plan
Life is mine alone, the pain I have known
The seeds I have sown, in time I have grown
The fool, he can’t see his real enemies
Hiding in the trees, decay and disease

Chaos breaks at dawn in a restless town
All the pages torn by a bat shit clown
The path walked well worn, the pressure unwound
Their words make me yawn, death stares all around
A rebel reborn, they can’t drag me down
Mild-mannered man roars, the deafening sound
A non-violent force strong enough to drown
Fat cats at the source of many folks' frowns
Emotion so raw with passion unbound
Let’s fight the class war, tactics well-renowned

Resistance is born of hearts broke and torn
Liars makes me yawn at the break of dawn
King upon his throne wants the wealth alone
Til our lids have blown, a story well known
Take back the power in the prime hour
Watch the pricks cower in their high towers

Thursday, June 22, 2017

TWIN SOULS NEVER FULLY SEPARATE

Two souls torn apart after an uncomfortable start
I’m left here devastated trying hard to pick up the pieces
And hold on to at least some semblance of sanity
You meant more than the entire universe to me
But without you here by my side, everything seems harder
As I remain caught up in a war inside my weary head
Nothing seems right, but memories pull me through
To the other side of the abyssal hole inside of my heart
Shown now to be as fragile as a crystal glass bird
It was shattered into the fragments of a million pieces
The fire that burnt inside it will never die out though
It will shine a light for you: then, now and forever after
A soul mate comes along maybe once in a lifetime
And I have no doubt that’s exactly what you were
That’s why I will keep searching for a way to get back there
The place where we’re not only meeting in dreamland
I hold out hope that we will one day hold each other again
It’s the only thing that keeps me going in this lonely life
I just know that I will find my darling again before I'm spent
I will move heaven and earth and not rest until I finally do

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

OUTSIDE BLOWING BUBBLES: ONE VERSE

Come and take a trip inside the outsider’s mentality
Watch me as I sit in a ditch to avoid reality
Somehow the shoe fits just right in a twisted fantasy
I lay down big hits on my despicable enemies
Different day, same shit, more and more of the same trouble
Blood inside syringe, as cracks appear I blow bubbles
From cheap detergent, call me the crazy insurgent
Yet more accidents done on purpose, no consequence
Stupid government keeps on punishing addiction
Numb skull president, his views no longer relevant

AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE

Nothing left to say
Gone down the wrong way
Everything under the sun
Change your ways today
Or chase away all the fun
Keep the wolves at bay
You've had an extended run
Fall down in dismay
Your time has finally come

Confusion sweeping over
As you do it to yourself
The end is coming closer
To losing all of your wealth
Refusal to stay sober
Destruction of good health
Not over til it's over
Go places you've never delved

Escape from the rays
Beaming down over you
Don't go old and grey
Doing the things you do
Don't you feel betrayed
By the girl's latest moves
Signals on delay
Won't be of much use
Still the same remains

UP TOWN VS DOWN TOWN

Set the cat among the pigeons
She’s one creature on a mission
Got one hell of a grand vision
Not waiting here for permission
Just have to make a decision
Despite her utmost insistence
Start to build up resistence
Set God's path for revision

No one cares much for compassion
It’s going out of fashion
Like the smack you be stashing
This doesn’t need rehashing
Go down before you rise forth
Up town when the tides come
No future for crack whores
We’ve all been there before

Make it back to the start
Before she broke my heart
Now all I’ve got is art
To show for all my smarts
Will you take me back there
When I wasn’t aware
How much the pain can tear
Falling down crooked stairs

SOLD AND ROLLED

Mold the image that’s been sold to the highest bidders
Told a story icy cold from the cashed up winners
Rolled once again, same new old soul destroying tactics
Bold words spit forth from footholds so deep in concrete
Worlds collide, a string of pearls to shoot and kill for
Swallow my pride, the king awaits his loot and bills more
Into this night he spreads misery through hell’s doors
Pitiful plight, he’s dead and so hungry and red raw
Never did fight back, head so weary, drew short straws
Nothing left intact, said he’s sorry on the floor

It’s all laid out on a smorgasbord
They’re all paid to stab him with a sword
Demons slain to catch him out of place
Constant pain shall match his sorry face

See the wreckage brought about by idle hands sinning
The full damage was apparent from the beginning
Dump the baggage holding you back from full potential
It’s the package straight from the heart that shines real crucial
You make amends when you stop pretending it’s OK
To build a fence when you’re interacting at coal face
Things may get tense if you don’t change your wicked ways
Body for rent as you get caught up in a blaze
Still quite incensed, as much as you’ve been for six days
Time to relent, stop running around in that maze

Don't bow down to the dark overlord
He's got you tripping over cords
Mental patient mentality
Is your mind's new discovery

Thursday, March 16, 2017

THE TRUMAN SHOW HAS GOT TO GO BEFORE THINGS START TO BLOW UP


Wolves once disguised as sheep
Now in wolve's clothing
All pretense now stripped
I can feel their leering eyeballs
Pointed at the small of my back
But the knives are blunted off
As if by grand design or providence
There are psychic channels to feed
And manufactured truths waiting for mass consumption
Contestants to be be voted out
When survival is paramount for a free ride
Courtesy of a woman trapped inside the Truman Show
And the show must go on forever
As there are deep pockets to line
And somebody's heart is pulled apart
So piece by little piece of the child inside dies
He has a pure heart and been truthful for far too long now
Must learn to lie to protect himself from the others
Whose lies have derailed him from his purpose
Of revolution and universal spiritual growth
Been an infant laughing stock for over three long decades
Sold as novelty in a long line of washed up products
Without the slightest hint of a disclosure statement
And ethics were out the windows at the show's premiere
But god and his minders had better watch out
The once helpless, cute little puppy is evolving
And he has set his sights for the jugular
So he's not stopping until he kills off his detractors
With a cocktail of truth, determination and kindness
May the fun and games begin and rebellion be in full flourish