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i am the dissident poetician...i tear down fences with sardonic sardines and metaphysical cucumbers

Saturday, August 26, 2017

THE FAT CAT MASTER'S BAIT

Though my whole world is constantly under attack, I’m still an ethical criminal with the decency clean skins lack
You think society’s got your back, but it’s only still intact by sending the weak off the beaten track
It’s a story of exploitation, even more than poison peddlers take advantage of a junkie’s addiction
Submit instead of causing friction and mayhem in a fucked up, happy whore capitalist system
Forget about conventional wisdom, you can’t be of assistance to the lives of the down-trodden
If you’ve been bought of in the first instance by the noose that is blind adherence to consumerism
And it’s dictates, as it were fate that all you’ve seemed to do of late is to buy more useless shit inside a pearly gate
Such a sorry state, I just hate how we’ve all swallowed the fat cat master’s bait and become so complacent we can’t shake
The shackles around our wrists and feet, resigned ourselves to the deafening beat of a humiliating defeat 
Of our interests collectively, bought off by a buy until you die orgy eclipse that keeps dollars firmly entrenched within filthy rich families

They control all and sundry while ruthlessly dropping happy bombs on their enemies with the aid of armoured metal killing machines
Watch it happen on TV, soon terrorists will finally be free from causing chaos to infidel families as they please 
They will soon be sorry, just a part of another media story about good guys defeating bad guys who have been killing us indiscriminately
Innocents they kill mainly with explosives made in a perpetual war promoting factory who’s owners cash in handsomely
Just like all shareholders with a foothold in the belly of a military industrial complex that’s been killing niggers for centuries
It’s quite plain for all to see that war is good for the economy, that’s why we spend so much money on stealing resources from weak, defenceless countries
Why put so much energy into revealing this great travesty using long sentences held together by the vitality of a ghetto rhyming strategy
Because it really gotten to me, this life so meaningless and empty in a society in which control mechanisms to herd sheep are aplenty 
I wanna smash it all up and watch all the fault lines erupt, destroy the structures erected by the hands of slaves to a humanity so greedy and corrupt
When all the shopping centres shut will we all fall into a rut of misery and emptiness when it disrupts our daily routines like a hammer smashing down on a nut

Thursday, August 17, 2017

LOVE RESTRAINING LEGAL DOOR LOCK

I was always there for you when you needed me the most
When you were there all alone at the lowest of lows
I was always there to catch you all the times that you fell
When you needed someone who cared to wish you well
All those occasions I rose above adversity just for you
All those special stations I played especially for you too
Not talking myself up that much but I was always there for you
Always there to make sure that you were doing alright too
I loved you from the bottom of my heart, that much is true
And you know full well, I gave as much as I could very well do

Where are you when I need you more than I ever have needed you before?
Why did you have to shut the door to all the love that would I had in store?
How can I ever know for sure why you decided to lock the front door

Using the harsh hand of the law to keep me far away for ever more?

But where are you when I need you the most I’ve ever done?
All you’ve done is ignore my messages and run away from me
I need you now more than I’ve ever needed anyone before
My world is falling down all around to a dangerous sound at the door
You’ve probably got it in for me and lost all faith in your superhero
Now I’m left here drowning in endless self-pity and deep sorrow
I know if I come over tomorrow you’ll leave me feeling hollow 
Forever eluding me and staying in this shadows of my broken life
This is coming from a special someone who once wanted to be my wife
It was inevitable that I would fall deeply into great strife
Now where are you when all my enemies would like to stick in the knife?

Where are you when I need you more than I ever have needed you before?
Why did you have to shut the door to all the love that would I had in store?
How can I ever know for sure why you decided to lock the front door

Using the harsh hand of the law to keep me far away for ever more?

So lost here without you faithfully by my side
All I’ve got now is this is never ending crack high
You must be left in the corner wondering why
I threw my life and love into the bleakness of a night sky
I’ve done some things I’m not very proud of at all
Everybody’s watching with great joy as my castle does fall
There’s not any dry ground for me to land upon the shore
So I’m left all scarced and anxious even more than before
And because of my mistakes I’ll never see you for evermore
All my hopes and dreams destroyed and pushed out the back door

Where are you when I need you more than I ever have needed you before?
Why did you have to shut the door to all the love that would I had in store?
How can I ever know for sure why you decided to lock the front door
Using the harsh hand of the law to keep me far away for ever more?

Monday, August 07, 2017

TO STEAL A WEDDING RING

Love that stands the test of time
You’re always on my twisted mind
On the forefront of it all the time
Your love doesn’t even cost a dime
Because that’s the way good things are
They are gifts that come for free
I’m ready to steal you a wedding ring
If only you’d stop being so very silly
And lift the VRO you’ve got on me
I’m not a danger to you, can’t you see?
Hand in hand we could set each other free
Love as beautiful as an old lemon tree
So what is it really that takes your fancy?
Could it be a happy future for you and me?
Now could you open up the channels again please
Let open communication set us both free
From a past that ended on a sour note
Without you I found it difficult to cope
If only you’d read all the poems that I wrote
You would see that I still hold out much hope
That we can one day be together again
To resume being soul mates and the best of friends
The love we shared every day was not pretend
I just know that things will work out in the end

NOTHING I WOULDN'T DO FOR YOU

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you
Anything at all to help get you through
The miserable cards you’ve been dealt
To cleanse you of all the pain you’ve ever felt

I think by now you should know me quite well
Be privy to all the demons I’ve tried hard to dispel
I’m a troubled man plagued by pain, can’t you tell
You were always there to catch me when I fell

We had a connection so deep and strong
Found comfort in each other all along
That’s why I struggled to cope after you’d gone
That’s when my life turned into a really sad song

I’ve never felt so sad like this until now
Life seems empty without you here to show me how
To be a stronger person, to rise above it all
Now there’s nobody left to catch me each time I fall

I prey to a god who I never seriously believed in
For the next phase of our  lives to finally begin
Where the both of us have been healed from within
And freed from chemical shackles wearing thin

I’ve also made an impassioned prayer 
That my detractors will start to treat me fair
Even though they are all blinded and unaware
That I was once one of the few who truly cared

I was there for you when nobody else was
I was there to guide the way when you were lost
I sacrificed for you despite the potential cost
I could not allow cunts to continue to be your boss

Remember who has been always been there for you
Remember that there’s nothing I wouldn’t fucking do
For someone so special that I'd sorely hate to lose
Being scared of my dark side is not a good enough excuse

Your silent treatment of me has left me in a daze
Why do you shun me when you know I’ll love you always?
Why don’t you break free from others and have your own say?
How could you just accept it and throw what we had away?

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

SO SILLY

You were always there to carry me
Even said you wanted to marry me
The way you loved me was rare to see
But now you are really scared of me
Your folks won’t let you have a bar of me
So I’m left here with this scar you see
Broken hearted, lacking conviction
There’s no cure for this condition
After you withdrew your permission
For me to be in your mind’s vision

Lonely, so lonely yearning for my one and only
Silly, so silly, this dumb order you’ve put on me
Crazy, go crazy, filling in this void so empty
Maybe, just maybe, one day you will return to me

You were almost here to take me there
Could feel your love here, there, everywhere
When around you, didn’t have a care
In the world, even if people stared
Now that you’re out of my daily glare
There are many things I wouldn’t dare
Do that I did without thought before
Without you here, I’m not quite so sure
Of myself when I’m leaving the door
Don’t think I’ve been this low before

Lonely, so lonely yearning for my one and only
Silly, so silly, this dumb order you’ve put on me
Crazy, go crazy, filling in this void so empty
Maybe, just maybe, one day you will return to me

You’re the best thing that’s happened to me 
Being with you truly set me free 
From deep feelings of inadequacy
Helping to quell my anxieties
Made me feel complete finally
Let me forget all my enemies
You were happy in my company
But now things have changed, that cannot be
So I’m left alone, sheer misery
I wish for you to come back to me

Lonely, so lonely yearning for my one and only
Silly, so silly, this dumb order you’ve put on me
Crazy, go crazy, filling in this void so empty
Maybe, just maybe, one day you will return to me

Tuesday, August 01, 2017

ONCE IN A LIFETIME

You were always there for me
But where the hell are you now
Just when I need you the most
You said we’d be forever
What ever happened to us
To be torn apart like so
I can hardly believe it
That you are no longer here

Now all I do is despair
I’ll never see you again
At least that’s how it all seems
A hopeless situation
Must find a way to break through
The silence you have maintained
Why won’t you talk to me dear?
Wish you’d speak to me again

You said I was your hero
That’s a lot to live up to
I simply could not do it
Things fell apart at the seams
As I lost all self control
And said things I didn’t mean
Why did I say all those things?
Maybe I was just jealous

Please won’t you come back to me
I’m waiting for you right here
My heart beats only for you
A flame that never burns out
Shining for one special soul
You are truly my soul mate
It comes along only once
In an entire lifetime

What can I do to repair
The rift that’s come between us
Is there nothing I can do 
To bring your face back to me
For me to see and behold
For you to return again
Back into my loving arms
Outstretched for you my darling

I wonder what it would take
To bridge the gulf between us
To put an end to the fear
Of danger yet to harm you
I would do almost anything
To get what I really want
What I want is all of you
Yes, you should know that by now

QUICKSAND SUSPENDED

I crossed another divide
Between insanity and a nice place
Watched as people did collide
Speaking profanity, a bitter taste
Nothing really to excite
When real hardcore junkies act in haste
Lessons to help me decide
Rather die than live in waste
Reason to claim back some pride
Nothing is doomed to stay the same
I can have control inside
Stop treating life like a child's game

Possibilities abound
With each passing day
Crash rich kids' parties renowned
For decadent ways
Beanie replaced with a crown
For the timid thing
Sick of being pushed around
No longer nothing

Then I finally arrived
In the vicinity of the Bronx 'hood
That's why I carry a knife
With the propensity to do what should
Be done in a moral crisis
Truth can set us all free, would if I could
Do it, rather than just write it
The calling of the man misunderstood
I no longer wish to fight it
The slander of the words haters mistook
Thinking I would somehow like it
Noticing the glare of a dirty look

Just because I don't speak it
With much conviction
Doesn't mean I don't need it
To be met with respect
You think I won't dare do it
Start to cause friction
Just you wait 'til I lose it
Not quite what you'd expect 

Her love makes me feel alive
Every sister trying to reach out to me
Able to look and realise
That we don't always have to just disagree
Visions of a legend's rise
When I finally set my tortured soul free
From all the parasites' lies
Beware the spiky thorns on lemon trees
Sour like the tears I've cried
Macho conditioning: a sad disease
That ensures tough men try
Only violent acting so they can please

Endless enemies surround
The paranoid man
The party's come to town
Sum is greater than
Evolved beings hear the sounds
Of truth through quicksand
Suspended off the ground 
Though hard to understand

YOU CAN DO IT: A DIDACTIC RANT (ORIGINALLY POSTED AS A FACEBOOK UPDATE)

A spanner in the works is the manager at the shitty job you hate being an arsehole and testing your patience and resolve. You can overcome it by ignoring the problem and pretending it's not there or you can face it head on and tell it that you will not let it's negative influence have a bearing on how you carry on with your day to day affairs. Replace the negative with a new attitude and you can, not only withstand setbacks, but also let it be the impetus for not going backwards again. From harrowing lows come the possibility for new beginnings. It all starts with a positive outlook and the determination that you will not allow the folly of the past overshadow what you can do in the here and now to make good out of a bad situation in which all the bad outcomes are likely to be as impending as dark storms rolling in as predicted by weather forecasters. A good attitude goes a long way towards change, growth and renewal of the soul. Don't succumb to the path of least resistance that involves heading towards the dark side of purgatory. Chin up soldier. It's not all doom and gloom. There's always a silver lining after every devastating storm. Remember there is always hope no matter how hopeless a situation seems. Believe in the possibility for transformation in a seemingly stagnant and sad reality that your life has become. Nothing is out of your fingers' grasp. You can and will overcome that spanner that has wreaked havoc in your life. Tragedies and dramas do not have to be unavoidable events that destroy your will to transcend your mortal limitations, afflicting some more than others. The universe rewards effort. Never give up. Stay strong. Things are on the way up. It's the only logical conclusion for the future ahead. You can fix it. No mess is beyond repair. Just remember not to be that negatron. Positive thoughts and wishes only. Anything is possible and the sky is the limit. So what are you sitting around twiddling your thumbs for? Go for it my fellow confused traveller through this unrelenting test that is what passes for reality. You can get what you want and bring all your dreams into fruition. The key is dedication, determination and self-belief. If you know in your heart that you are a capable, competent person, then you can and will achieve things you never imagined possible. The future is in your hands. Go out there and give it your best. That's all one can do. Sure beats bowing down in defeat. So go for it, my friend.

LOWS OF THE HIGH LIFE

I was living the high life, never far from great strife
At least by my lowly standards of straying far wayward
I had cash packed, stashed away, half weight habit a day
I had truly gone astray, more than a passing phase
My head in a complete daze, hiding from a sense of shame
Hard to change my wicked ways, pretending it’s just a game
Hiding from the dead sun’s rays, mistakes wait to be erased
The grave is where I shall lay, if I don’t have a proper say
When the sky turned to grey shades, my ethics I betrayed
Excuse this whole moral haze, not the way I’ve been raised

Age of moral decline with the whereabouts of the fine white line
In patches of sunshine caught in the afterglow of rays out of time
Confront them, not a crime, what they want from me is to never grow
I’ll take back what is mine, take my dignity and put it on show

I was living day to day, cut off from the future
My deck of cards start to blaze, guided by deep failure
May the critics have their say, I shall simply wait here
To read another page of the debauched paper
What’s the new yuppie fad that’s got them all hooked tight
Sometimes I’m really glad that I have seen the light
Instead of doing that consumer whore routine
Those people must be mad, following magazine
Prescriptions of what’s bad, so bad it sets new trends
Sheeple decline is sad, shackled means to an end

Age of moral decline with the whereabouts of the fine white line
In patches of sunshine caught in the afterglow of rays out of time
Confronting not a crime, what they want from me is to never grow
I’ll take back what is mine, take my dignity and put it on show

Saturday, July 29, 2017

GUIDE TO GENTLE REFUSAL

Pop some benzos to take my mind to the nth zone
Of consciousness, living my life vicariously
In an envious mess of straight people especially
My headspace is floating as my ego could take some bloating
The rat race enslaving so I set my sights on escaping
Can’t be like the others following the footsteps of their fathers
Aggro, abusive bastards, believing in the need for their harsh words
This life: so fucking absurd, intriguing in all it’s confusion
We’ll all get our just desserts, start bleeding in gentle refusal
What have we got in reserve? Hearts needing a careful perusal
Where we get what we deserve, minds leaving with peaceful excuses

A road turned is another lesson learned
Throw it in the mix and watch it all burn
A heart moved is another soul set loose
When life drags you down, it’s time to refuse

Reality sure bites when people don’t know wrong from right
It’s given me such a fright that I’ve recoiled and set my sights
On fighting into the night until I finally see the light
Of a new day in the height of madness that overrides
All good sense, things so tense in the blur of a big mess
Tossed over the fence, shit making sense less and less
But that’s the nonsense I’ve pretty much come to expect
Where love is absent, a sad life without much success
When you’ve been stripped of all pride, there’s not much left inside
Except the memories of lies and all the tears you’ve cried

A road turned is another lesson learned
Throw it in the mix and watch it all burn
A heart moved is another soul set loose
When life drags you down, it’s time to refuse

This ain't no telethon event, it’s the story of a negatron
Who’s always looking for ways to vent his bitter, deep-seated frustrations
There’s no way in hell he can repent for all the well-aimed transgressions
Into all the good things heaven sent, brought on by his indignation
At all the cruel things done unto him that bring about social relations
Between bitter rivals under the sun, a twisted kind of invocation
Of hatred inside a matrix of resentment and melancholic elation
Who has waited on spoilt fakers who’s daddies paid for their posh vocations?
I wait with baited breath to see the brats toppled from their high positions
I’ll be so elated when I take full control and make all my own decisions

A road turned is another lesson learned
Throw it in the mix and watch it all burn
A heart moved is another soul set loose
When life drags you down, it’s time to refuse

Friday, July 21, 2017

BOYS DON'T CRY

Two year VRO put on me to let me go as cracks show in the flow
Of innuendo, lies and rumours that grow until they blow
Me out of the water, surrounded by jealous haters who wait here
For me to fall harder as things got rougher with no saviour
To pull me back from the brink of attack procedures and blue fever
Off the beaten track, a decisive lack of support, no half measures
As users use me and chew me up for their own twisted pleasures
Only way to be free and no longer sorry is to find truth in failure
Parasites do me no favours, always there to drain the soul of the teacher
No angels are here to save ya when you're surrounded by people crazier

The weak are here to make wolves seem stronger
The meek show fear to make blokes stay longer
They seek no tears, for boys don’t cry in front
Of other boys, they just tell the lies they want

Repeated dose of silence in between the violence that never was
Jumping fences in desperation in fear of impending loss
It came anyway at the end of the day, I simply had to go away
For my words had strayed from molly coddling, kid glove comments to say
Jealousy raged like hellfire, torn pages out of life’s sweet decay
How I had strayed from my nice guy ways, then got told to go away
At the strike of dawn, I was down on the lawn, almost all gone
Like a fragile fawn, down paths well worn, singing a sad song
I felt so forlorn, my insides completely torn, wished I was never born
Darkness engulfed all, as I had my great fall, what the fuck had I done wrong?

The weak are here to make wolves seem stronger
The meek show fear to make blokes stay longer
They seek no tears, for boys don’t cry in front
Of other boys, they just tell the lies they want

SOAP DANGLING TO A ROPE

I’ve been here before
Down the same path
Pining away for past glories
It’s not like before
Good things don’t last
So I tell the same sad stories
She closed the front door
Just when it opened
Destroying every spark of hope
Yearned for something more 
Than silent reasons
No joy left here, I couldn’t cope 
Went back to the source
Twas open season
Her no longer dangling a rope
I felt deep remorse
So self-defeating
Should have washed my mouth out with soap
Never got on the horse
Jealousy raging
Now I'm left here devoid of hope

ACCESS DENIED

Never thought I’d lose her
Not for a second, no way
We were meant to always be
Yes, together forever
But she left me hanging on
Shrouded in a veil of silence
Never thought it would happen
But she went and broke my heart
Shattered it into a thousand pieces
All I did was call that other bitch
On being a downright dog cunt
And she was not given the choice
To speak to me herself when ready
People got in her ear about me
And the huge danger I posed 
To her welfare and her safety
Lies, rumours and innuendo
Designed to paint me up
As a monster who would hurt her
If not protected from my flaws
Two year violence restraining order
Put on my sorry arse for nothing
But jumping the fence at hers
A storm in a teacup if you ask me
But one which has denied me
All access to her love and kindness
Couldn’t believe it was the end
For me and my precious sunshine
Only darkness engulfed my soul
Without my darling by my side
I was a shattered shell of a man
Left wondering what I’d actually done
For her to go to such extremes
To get me out of her fragile life
Once and for all, the perfect stranger
Who had once been faithful partner
In a string of crimes in a long list
That we’d never get to commit together
Oh how that Dr Solar was on our list
We’ve still yet to fuck up her car
But that will never ever be
As long as she keeps avoiding me
And perpetuating the horrible silence
Imposed upon me out of fear
Of the potential chain of retribution
That an unstable man would dole out
All unfounded of course
I’m psychotic at times but not that mad
I am capable of exercising restraint
Although I didn’t show much
The day the extended silence began
The beginning of challenging times
Unprecedented frequency of rain
Such was the depth of my despair
That I forgot how to eat, drink and breathe
Time has dried up the river that once flowed
But I still love her with all my heart
A flame that burns for ever more
Until the end of time spent waiting
For her to come to her senses
And be free from the thumb of family members
Who would never accept me as one of them
Because of what they cannot see
That she saw and understood like few others could
Until that day comes, I’ll still be waiting
Holding on to the hope that we’d reunite
I simply cannot wait for it to happen
Oh how glorious that day shall be