About Me

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i am the dissident poetician...i tear down fences with sardonic sardines and metaphysical cucumbers

Thursday, September 22, 2016

KINDNESS DOESN'T HAVE TO COST A CENT AND GOES A LONG WAY TOWARDS MAKING ANOTHER PERSON'S DAY

Warning: you are about to embark on a rant that is extremely long as far as Facebook status updates go. 2351 words at last count, not including this intro. If you persist to the end, please do not feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity. It does me no good. Instead what I ask for is just some love and understanding. Really, is that too much for me to ask for?

Unlimited wireless internet access for less than $40 per month here we come. Just have to wait for my hard-earned dole dollars to go in and it's a goer. Less than 48 hours until I'll be downloading videos of whatever the fuck I want for free, non-stop, until the 2 months I'll be getting of cheap unlimited net access is up. Then I'll simply switch down to a cheaper plan. It's all part of my plans to become an indolent sci-fi geek with bulk geeky entertainment to keep me idle forever and a day more. All power to nerds and geeks everywhere who'd rather be passive spectators in life than actually live it. Been through so many harrowing "real life" periods of turmoil of late, that I deserve a break from all the lying, scamming, conniving lowlifes who have been sucking the life and sanity right out of me. If only I had a dollar I had for all the tears I've shed as a consequence of being forced to do things against my will, in order to feed the relentless, fiending stomach that is constantly left hungry and dissatisfied by a mistress who is only out to torment me and leave me hanging for more and more of the same old same old bullshit that goes with the territory. I'm speaking metaphors here, by the way. Kind, honest, decent souls are few and far between in a scene (if one could even call it that) in which the satisfaction of one's pleasure zone is the primary driving motivation for behaviour so disgraceful and lacking in all form, that foul play and the screwing over of those on the bones of their arse is quite the norm. Never in my whole life have I ever encountered such cretins and such devious, arrogant behaviour that completely disregards the feelings of the victims of the perpetrators' wicked ways. Scant regard is paid to the needs and struggles of those whose lives are torn asunder by wolves in wolves' clothing and the vultures who swarm around as soon as one gives them an opening by showing them any kindness or compassion of any sort. Humanity is met with lack thereof. Chances to show decency are ignored and instead met by complete and utter scumbag acts of misappropriation and almost unforgivable acts of cruelty to the utmost extent. Almost bordering on torture on the mental variety. Furthermore, these scumbags do what they do and get away with it because they can. What small fry is going to bash someone for robbing them of their last cent and throwing the kindness shown towards the assailant back in the face of the person who has bestowed such a rare gift upon his fellow human being, especially in a world as topsy turvy as the one we all share. This flies in the face of all common decency and reflects the soul, or lack thereof, possessed by damaged people out to share the pain and inflict almost limitless damage upon those they view as being meek. All because the weakling has a heart and actually gives a fuck about people, instead of merely seeing them as just tools that can be of benefit to him in the short term period in which he has certain desires that need to be satiated. I've had a car stolen from me and sold from under me, while I've been involuntarily detained in a psychiatric hospital, by someone purporting to be a friend, who really, if you think about it, was just taking full advantage of someone at their lowest ebb. The succubus who committed this most heinous of acts fully hit the jackpot with this one. Not only did the arsehole in question breach trust, but he thrust the dagger in when the person, he completely fucked over, was totally defenceless. This is akin to stealing candy from a baby or mugging a granny. Inexcusable and befitting of only eternal condemnation. Not only was I sectioned at the time, but I was also homeless, so most of the worldly possessions that meant anything to me were also in that vehicle that got traded for a small amount of escapism-inducing goodies on the black market. This included a guitar and amp, my precious camera accessories (including two expensive, professional tripods and various bits and bobs that took months for me to acquire from eBay, as I had to wait patiently for them to arrive from far-off, distant places), a $300 Kathmandu jacket that I got as a gift from my sister, who no longer talks to me (as I popped 40 300mg Seroquel tablets in front of my mother and her and then stormed out of the house because I'd had enough of their well-intentioned intervention into my life when I had no self-control over my vices), among other things. All either sold for drugs or a pitiful amount of cash. Ill-gotten gains at the expense of someone who had been brutally attacked and restrained by three security guards twice his size (who almost broke his wrists), at RPH ,before been transferred to another hospital and had forms slapped on him, essentially removing all his freedom. The scoundrel who did this, knew about all of this, knew that I was down and out, yet he still chose to stick the death knell in, adding another chapter to the tragedy unfolding before his eyes, with scant regard for my welfare at all. Talk about kicking a man when he's down and throwing his kindness back in his face. I even cardless-cashed him a substantially large sum of money when he told me he was desperate and hungry before all the deceit unfolded and destruction of my faith in humanity was well and truly unleashed upon me, like a raging tempest, by his cruelty and refusal to give a flying fuck about the consequences. I was so gutted by what had been done and so filled with indignation at the injustice of it all that I have spent many a night crying over it, lamenting the lack of humanity that it clearly indicates. I admit, I've even had repeated thoughts of hunting the fucker, who did this, down and stabbing him in the eye with the sharpest of sharp knives. However, in the end I forgave him and let him back into my life, only for him to use the threat of violence against me to intimidate me into handing over my entire fortnight's pay to his grubby paws. Getting stung not once, not twice, but multiple times by some indisputably arrogant and uncaring scumbag, was almost my unravelling. It got to the point where one of us was going to get hurt. Either I was going to get him and get him good, or I was going to turn my anger in on myself and hurt myself because I felt like such a lame, helpless goose for letting him do all those horrible things that he did to me. In the end, I decided to forgive the guy (and he knows who he is because he is still on my friend's list; why that is I'm not quite sure: maybe because I'm trying to give him another chance to show me that there is a tiny shred of decency in him) and let his indiscretions slide without punishment. I have no plans for revenge anymore. Instead, I have decided to let what has been done be blown into the winds of Zen and view it as a learning curve, an expensive and life-changing one at that. As I wrote in a poem about my feelings towards the guy, I am going to use what he has done as an example of how not to treat others. How not to be. Rather, I have had to deal with the ramifications of his disgraceful actions in such a way that allows me to rise above the new lows set by him and not let the pain and shock of what has happened, consume every pore of my being, like a raging fire as it engulfs an entire village full of defenceless, peace-loving tribal inhabitants, who just so happened to have the misfortune of being caught up in something they have no control over. I no longer blame myself for letting him taking advantage of my trusting nature and passive tendencies, which allowed him to take full advantage of me. I am at peace with who I am and know that there are others who appreciate me for being a kind and compassionate person. Being like this need not necessarily be viewed as weakness, waiting to be exploited by those who would make an enemy of me. Instead, such qualities should be cultivated and allowed to shine through for the benefit of ourselves and those around us. They should be utilised to spread happiness and to connect with others, out of a common humanity. If others want to take advantage of it, then that's their problem. Karma will get them in the end. I refuse to let my experiences with this person, whose actions and their consequences, which once held sway over how I felt about myself and my worth as another human being unable to stop themselves from being exploited by such unscrupulous swine, affect the way I approach life in general. I will be kind and I will put faith in good people once more because they do exist. If you are reading this (and I could easily name you, the culprit who has taken up so much of my time and energy in the increasingly long-winded rant, but I refuse to do so) I implore you to look long and hard and what you have done to myself and also countless others (from what I have heard about your modus operandi) and change before it's too late and karma gets the better of you. Keep doing what you do and do it to the wrong person at the wrong time and you just may end up in a shallow grave or in hospital with both of your fragile hips shattered to smithereens. Neither of us want that to happen. Despite all the grief you have caused me, I don't hate you. Please show me, and the rest of the world, that you can be a decent person after all and just stop doing the despicable things you continue to do. That would be a start, I guess. I didn't waste so much time outing you for what you have done to me for you to simply think you've gotten away with it and don't have to face up to the aftermath of the choices you have made to fuck people over. You have to live with what you have done to others, just I had to deal with the damage it caused to my well-being. Please turn around and change your wicked ways before it's too late. Nobody needs to get hurt anymore. You may think me naive, but at least I had the decency and humanity to forgive you and to give you a gentle nudge in the right direction. If I didn't see any good in you, I wouldn't be saying any of this. I know you had your reasons, but just know that your actions affect other people too, to state the obvious. Some more than others. Mental scars don't heal as easily as the physical ones you would get from copping a beating. Please bear that in mind as you get on with your life. Know that I have moved on in mine. I think I've said far more than needed to be said to you, in what is getting to be a ridiculously long rant, in which I never had you in mind when I began the process of writing it. Instead, it was meant to be about getting cheap unlimited internet and downloading movies for free, which could then act as a distraction for all the turmoil that has taken place in the past 18 months or so of my one and only life. How this status update got to this point, I'm not quite sure. However I am certain of this fact now: I have devoted far too much energy to the sleights committed against me by but one single individual. One person, among the many who have taken advantage of me in this time by appealing to my better nature. Don't get me wrong. I'm far from perfect, but I try to do the right thing by others whenever possible. I certainly don't believe in taking advantage of the weak and the vulnerable, like countless others have done to me. The way in which I've been treated, I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worse enemies. I don't have many of those left these days anyway. I tried my best to kill them off, and win them over, with kindness. So much so, that it is a core belief of mine that kindness can save lives and also work miracles. That's why I don’t write anyone off, no matter what they've done and try to treat just about anyone I come across with kindness. You could say I'm an advocate for more kindness being bestowed upon everyone by all concerned. Well, I guess this rant is getting to the point where everything that I add to it, from now on, will be superfluous. I would just like to wrap it up by saying that my intention was not to make others feel sorry for me, which they may very do so, if they have read every word up to this point. I only wanted to share something we all have in common and that is a piece of my humanity. Like everybody else, I have been confronted with lots of troubles in my travels. That's why I think it's important for us all to have compassion for others, without sounding all Buddhist fundamentalist on your sorry arses. Kudos to all who have stuck it through and read up to this juncture. My apologies for carrying on and on, but I think I needed to get some of this stuff off my chest. Anyway, please hold onto what's left of your humanity as if your life depended on it, my friends, because it does. Keep it real. Stay human, one and all. End of annoyingly long rant. For now at least.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

HUSTLER'S LAMENT

Everybody wants to be a gangster, street-wise hoodlum hustler, but nobody thinks of the ramifications
Ultimate test of every tough solider, when cunts come to bust ya door down looking for the narcotics’ location
Bitter sweet taste or another flavour, for all your life’s failures, even the most battle-hardened fall weak sometimes
Not all tough guys can tolerate rough rides, twisting out their insides, while carrying out the bloodiest of all crimes
Slamming people’s heads into the hard ground, gone too far this time round, soon bodies to be surrounded by chalk outlines
Real G’s do this sort of thing all the time, yet it plays on their minds, no solace from the brutality can they find
The only reality that they know, same place they always go, always wind up at the same old destination
So violence becomes a normal belief, like theft is for a thief, this gig ain’t no game or summer time vacation
It’s real and so real people get caught up in it when fault lines erupt, for every chosen action, an equal reaction
Families stuck in the crossfire of thug-like desires, no peaceful solution found for warring factions

So you may think yourself tough but being a hustler can be rough
Think you’ll get heaps of muff and that the good times will always last
But it’s not all it’s cut out to be in a scene so riddled with disease
After you’ve seen all there is you see, you’ll be pleading “let me out please”

So you think hustling is a fun game, well, things remain the same, more or less, give or take, to tell the honest truth
Soon you’ll be feeling the same old sharp pains, while passing on the blame, it’s a test, real or fake, how you fucked up your youth
The endless racking you’re forced to do, before you face the truth of the matter, illusions now shattered
All the back stabbing from your own crew, anger through the roof, the heat of beer batter, delusions sent scattered
The hustle ain’t much fun after all, get up, then you fall, like everybody else, you take your place in the heap
Doesn’t matter if you’re short or tall, we’ve all got our flaws, the seeds you sow in the scene are what you shall reap
Nobody likes dishonest arseholes, after only one goal, answering the pleasure zone, instead of all else
Slimy lowlifes who have sold their souls for one big pot of gold, beholden to satan’s call, after only top shelf
Though it’s a lawless world, rules exist, don’t you dare run the risk of getting your fingers chopped off, sent to you in the mail
Receiving end, a barrage of fists, just how hard you’ll be hit, regretting you were born, the day the whole fleet sets sail

So you may think yourself tough but being a hustler can be rough
Think you’ll get heaps of muff and that the good times will always last
But it’s not all it’s cut out to be in a scene so riddled with disease
After you’ve seen all there is you see, you’ll be pleading “let me out please”

Do you think you have the guts it takes, stand out from all the fakes, wannabes talk it up when they’ve achieved nothing
Just give up for everyone else’s sake, your pride is what’s at stake, you embarrass yourself every time you begin
To act tough, like you’re all that in front of other try hard cunts, onlookers hardly shocked at the lame arse parade
A small fry in a world of giants, you act all defiant, when called on your naff shit, same record overplayed
The saddest hustler under the sun, soft as a hot dog bun, heard the same shit so many times I’m getting bored
No, you could never stab anyone, better off on the run, you’ve run so far you’ll win the Forrest Gump award
When you finally get caught for it, doing that devious shit, you shall meet your maker when it’s time to show some form
What would you do when locked up inside, with only time to bide? Would you be all afraid, concede defeat, all forlorn?
Tough nut façade reduced to putty, no time to feel sorry for the great big mess you find yourself in tough guy
Say goodbye to all the bling and money, also no more pussy, in this big boy’s playground, only the brave do survive

So you may think yourself tough but being a hustler can be rough
Think you’ll get heaps of muff and that the good times will always last
But it’s not all it’s cut out to be in a scene so riddled with disease
After you’ve seen all there is you see, you’ll be pleading “let me out please”

Saturday, September 17, 2016

A MUG'S GAME

Did it for the love of the drugs, took me for a feeble mug
Sure, I'm not that fucking tough, wouldn’t want to be a thug    
Like lowlife motherfuckers who destroy people’s futures
I believe kindness matters in a world full of vultures
The real crime: the arrogance of the main perpetrators
A white line drawn in the sand, a sick, sad, toxic culture
No peace sign is to be found, this time round, in proceedings
Tainted mind dragged to the ground, painful sound of the weeping
Irate rhymes thrown in your face, no time to start deceiving
Hurt inside, losing the race, so it's time to cop a beating

It’s a mug’s game, get out while you still can
We’re all the same, why can’t you understand?
Turns us all lame, heads now stuck in the sand
Drugs bring more pain, despite all the best plans

Gave them all so many chances, but they all took advantage
Of really sad circumstances, ‘til all was fully ravaged
Took so much, nothing left to take, well and truly left me dry
Not my friends, but conniving fakes, make me really wonder why
Humans have the right to exist, when most are just cave dwellers
No wonder I despise the greed that spins the world’s propellers
Most of us are fucking lowlifes, who still believe in Santa
Out to get yet another free ride, while taking sips of Fanta
The same themes will keep repeating in each and every stanza
Passive aggressive, self-defeating, such hateful propaganda

It’s a mug’s game, get out while you still can
We’re all the same, why can’t you understand?
Turns us all lame, heads now stuck in the sand
Drugs bring more pain, despite all the best plans

Tried to see the good in each one, people who fucked me over
Did everything under the sun, to try and stay cold sober
Instead of escaping from life’s trials and tribulations
Never stopped playing with sharp knives, the same old new sensations
That bring you closer to the edge of nowhere then back again
Standing on a perilous ledge, plotting a twisted revenge
To get my own back on those cunts, who stabbed me right in the back
No one fucks with this little runt, or they’ll come under attack
A barrage of acerbic words that show them for what they are
For they smell worse than rotting turds, the hall of shame extends far

It’s a mug’s game, get out while you still can
We’re all the same, why can’t you understand?
Turns us all lame, heads now stuck in the sand
Drugs bring more pain, despite all the best plans

Friday, September 16, 2016

EVA-MARIE

Daughter of a beautiful soul, you’re gonna break through walls
Yes, her heart is made of gold, in mum’s arms you'll never ever fall
Descended from the right mold, one day you too shall stand tall
But defiant, don’t do as you’re told, unless it’s the right thing after all
You are a miracle, a perfect baby, blessed by the touch of heaven
Your mother sure is a special lady, who’s now learning new lessons
The gift of motherhood bestowed upon her from way up above
You will never ever feel low, as long as you are touched by her love
You will always be special in her eyes, right now she must be on a high
All excited and ecstatic inside, there’s no limits, not even the sky

Eva-Marie, what do you see?
Look over there, it’s your lovely mummy
Eva-Marie, always remain free
Sure, life’s not fair, but you shall be happy

Blessed are we to be graced by your presence, such innocence
Adorable is your little face, that you’re in this world is of utmost importance
You made one person very happy and will win over many others too
Your life will be a great story, as long as you always hold true
You may even find glory one day if you always try your hardest
You were born free and free you shall be in the season of harvest
Remember child that what you reap in life is determined by what you sow
You can be anything you want to be, many places you can go
An opportunity awaits you to shape the world, everything under the sun
All the big steps you will one day take, but first will come little ones

Eva-Marie, what do you see?
Look over there, it’s your lovely mummy
Eva-Marie, always remain free
Sure, life’s not fair, but you shall be happy

Though I’ve never met you, I know that we’ll surely get along
I don’t know what else to do, but to write you this very song
You mother made a request, and that was for me to do just that
It has really put me to the test, made me put on my thinking cap
I wasn’t sure what to write, so I decided to write you all of this
When I meet you for the first time, I’m sure I’ll be filled with bliss
You’ll one day be all grown up, but for now enjoy your childhood
I know that you’ll surely be tough, stand as high as your mother stood
The day that she gave birth to you, all that effort that she put in too
The love that she feels towards you means that you can never lose

Eva-Marie, what do you see?
Look over there, it’s your lovely mummy
Eva-Marie, always remain free
Sure, life’s not fair, but you shall be happy

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

HORDERS

I'm always everywhere watching like shadows of a shadow
Dark places to do the swapping, no need for us to follow
Fading away into nothing, that's why we feel so hollow
Angry factions keep on warring, sowing hatred and sorrow
More distractions for the keeping, calling out for tomorrow
As motorists keep on beeping, strung out, not chilled and mellow
We struggle hard to keep breathing in the neon afterglow
As spirits fade and start leaving from the glitzy off road show 
All history can be deceiving, now that we know what we know
Same patterns keep on repeating, doesn't it add to your woes?

There's no mystery why we keep repeating the same history
The same energy drained out of workers in a factory
The real enemy hordes all resources for the family
Same old strategy: workers' revolt, age old fantasy

There's people doing the same things over and over again
With vultures waiting in the wings as we try not to pretend
Many actors dancing as they sing, just a class clown in the end
Many factors decide what we cringe, write the message then press send
Upload more memes to a flooded walls, eye candy for all our friends
No "I" in "team", time for a big fall, as we start to plot revenge
Freak show, raging individual, rather tear down every fence
Reputation so terminal, witness to all new events
Protector of God's capital, markets will never relent
Seeking more than ever before, out to make many a cent

There's no mystery why we keep repeating the same history
The same energy drained out of workers in a factory
The real enemy hordes all resources for the family
Same old strategy: workers' revolt, age old fantasy

What's the point of making words rhyme? sticking to an old form
Smoke a joint, then rack up some lines, deviate from set norms
Take some crack, then commit thought crimes, walk down paths not well worn
Planned attack with dirt on the mind, soldier on with shoes torn
Been fighting battles against grime since the day we were born
Losing coins, wasting all our dimes, now we feel so forlorn
The main show: a huge waste of time, spectators start to yawn
The critics make much noise and whine, like all the times before
No longer taken for a ride, we break on through the door
No more knots, twisting our insides, silent for evermore

There's no mystery why we keep repeating the same history
The same energy drained out of workers in a factory
The real enemy hordes all resources for the family
Same old strategy: workers' revolt, age old fantasy

Wednesday, September 07, 2016

THE LAW OF KARMA

You treat me like a lame goose, but just you wait until some screws go loose in my head
And I'm coming after you with a machete, boy have you made me angry and soon you'll be dead
So sick of lowlifes standing over me so I'm gonna set this killer free with no fucking regrets
None whatsoever, you think you're so clever, but all ties I shall sever, no longer be upset
Sure, life's too short to be angry, but I can't forgive what you've done to me, you fuckhead
You're the prick who's gonna be sorry for not letting me be, soon your days will be filled with dread
You took advantage of my kindness and a naive sort of blindness but now I've opened up my eyes
You'll never believe what I'm gonna do, all the things I'll do to you, just to restore some pride
All the shame that I feel inside will be released in the dark of night when I finally put up a fight
If you'd had any insight at all you would have done what's right and this wouldn't be you plight

There’s no escape from the law of Karma
Gonna fuck you up like I was Jeffrey Dahmer
It’s high time you moved it and did a runner
Because I’ll be coming at you all through summer

It’s not easy being so tiny but you wouldn’t want to try me or else you’ll cop a fucking hiding
There’s no point in crying when you’re just about dying, because the bright lights will be shining
Lighting up the shame of being beaten to a pulp by an irate heathen who’s but half your size
I’ve got plenty of good reasons to bash you until you’re not breathin’, such as restoring lost pride
It’s what I would call catharsis for you shitting all over my carpet and twisting me all up inside
Think of it as the inevitable consequence of testing my patience and taking me for a fucking ride
I’m not normally so primal and violent but I can no longer suffer in silence for the things you’ve done
You may think me meek and oh so weak, but that shall no longer be, so you had better fucking run
I coming back with a vengeance to inflict upon you a life sentence, no longer will you fuck with me
You’d better watch your back because soon you’ll be under attack, getting you shall set me free

There’s no escape from the law of Karma
Gonna fuck you up like I was Jeffrey Dahmer
It’s high time you moved it and did a runner
Because I’ll be coming at you all through summer

There’s a moral to this story, not only should fuckers be weary, they need to learn to read the subtext
Everybody has a breaking point when you keep stealing their coins, and then they start they flex
The muscles you never thought they had, even nice guys turn bad, it’s the law of cause and effect
Karma catches up with every shit cunt who picks on little runts, reason enough to pause and reflect
Just even for a short moment of your life or find yourself in strife and get exactly what you deserve
You may just get kicked in the loins for treating others like unwanted toys, just like the dirtiest of perves
Imagine being so puny and being pushed to the point of fury, you too would feel the way that I do
Every other fucker pulling the piss, laughing out loud while doing it, not something that I did choose
But what I’d do to my enemies is but just a revenge fantasy, I’m actually a pacifist who abhors violence
I just needed to let it be known how my frustrations have grown, so I can no longer remain in silence

There’s no escape from the law of Karma
Gonna fuck you up like I was Jeffrey Dahmer
It’s high time you moved it and did a runner
Because I’ll be coming at you all through summer


Only kidding