a place devoid of ambition.
I find it difficult to escape
from these feelings of emptiness
or not feeling anything at all
like a guinea pig on Prozac.
my life is the boredom epitomised,
as I lay here waiting for something,
anything to happen to me at all.
nothing ever happens to me,
but another insignificant journey
to the middle of a barren desert.
motivation has slipped away,
or at least what was left of it.
days repeat like groundhog day:
nothing special, nothing bad,
emptiness on display in a window.
is happiness but another illusion,
something we search for in vain?
I am darkness personified,
hanging on to my sanity
by the thinnest of threads.
you took me by the hand
led me away, led me astray
like a dog without a leash.
I am beholden to your will,
under your darkest spell,
as I scratch around and search
for something beyond the abyss.
you take me to a brighter place:
a place where pain fades away
and everything is magnificent.
myriad colours, words and stars
swirl around in graceful unison.
if only it could be like this everyday,
days filled with fun and beauty.
I stalk you or do you stalk me?
I seek out your company
at every available opportunity,
fully knowing how toxic you are.
you are the bane of my existence:
you will be the death of me one day.
yes I know this all to well,
yet I keep on running back to you.
and so the cycle repeats
over and over and over again.